I met a lady last week who is a life coach. There are plenty of them around. Most of them are poor. There are three reasons for this:
- The supply of coaches in the UK vastly outweighs the demand for their services.
- Lots of coaches aren’t very good and this has tarnished the reputation of the whole sector
- But, most importantly, precious few coaches are prepared to take responsibility for their own commercial success.
The lady I was talking to appears to be very good at what she does. She had some great case studies and anecdotes that she shared with me and, I’ve no doubt at all that she can make a real difference to the lives of the people that she works with. However, she’s making hardly any money and the concept that this was in some way her fault was completely alien to her. As we talked, she opened up a little and she said something very enlightening to me,
“If I do a good enough job with my coaching and counselling, people will hear about it and discover me”.
Oh dear. I had to burst her bubble.
The fact is, there’s no business where simply being really good at it will guarantee success.
As a business owner, all of us have to take responsibility for getting our message out there and communicating to our customers and potential customers in an utterly compelling way why they should dip into their hard earned cash and spend some of it with us.
It’s our responsibility.
This lady, whose identity I am protecting to save her from embarrassment, has to take responsibility for getting her message out there; effectively, repeatedly, creatively, in a sufficiently compelling way so that her target markets picks up the phone, calls her and books a session.
Fact: The number of customers she has (or hasn’t) got is HER fault. She’s responsible.
The longer she sticks her head in the sand and kids herself that she’s living in this utopia where how well you do something is the sole factor in determining your success, the longer she’ll remain poor. Unable to get her car repaired, unable to take her kids on holiday, unable to buy her husband a nice gift on his birthday, unable to shop at the supermarket she prefers and unable to reduce her credit card debt.Bonkers. She’s avoiding responsibility. There’s no such thing as victims in business; only volunteers.
It seems to me though that the avoidance of responsibility is something of a pandemic that has silently struck our whole society in recent years. Whatever happens, it’s always somebody else’s fault. There’s someone else to blame. It wasn’t me Guv!
There’s a lady who lives near me whose only strategy to change her life is buying a lottery ticket every weekend. Bonkers. It’s a rubbish strategy. Fancy having your entire life plan resting on a 14,000,000:1 shot; it won’t work. (And yes, I do buy a lottery ticket – by direct debit actually, same numbers every week – but it’s not part of my plan and strategy to have a happy life. I have a zero dependency on my numbers coming up in order to do the things I want to do and that’s a very important difference).
The concept that my neighbour could take responsibility for her future and do something herself just seems to be a complete anathema to her.
Now, in this sad and torrid tale of a nation apparently in moral decline (goodness me, I am getting profound this month) there is significant good news for you. This is because you have at least begun to accept and to take responsibility for your own future.
Your membership of the Entrepreneurs Circle, even if you are only in the free trial period, says to the world and much more importantly to yourself, that you understand that things are within your control, that you can influence outcomes, that you can grab the steering wheel of your life and turn it in the direction that you want to go.
It ain’t easy, but the rewards are significant.
So, let’s explore a little more fully exactly what I mean by taking responsibility. For instance; it isn’t possible in every industry to buck the trend and become a multimillionaire. You might have to change industry or change business in order to do that. Responsibility.
It might be that for the life coach there are better routes to her earning the money that she wants for her family that involve her not being a life coach. There will almost certainly be better business models. Asking the right questions is part of taking responsibility.
You see, there really is no aspect of your life that is completely outside your control other than perhaps health. The business you’re in, who you sell to, the products and services you provide, your prices, even the place in which you live and work and the person or people you live with can all be changed if they’re not getting you what you want and they’re not making you happy. Oh sure, these are tough decisions, but that’s what responsibility is all about. And pretending that there are things outside our control, things that we can’t change, is part of our defence mechanism. But it’s hardly ever true and we’re just kidding ourselves. Responsibility.
If there are things that you don’t know then you can learn ‘em if you want to and if you take responsibility for making that learning happen.
Why is the number one player in your market number one? What are they doing differently to you and everyone else? It’s your responsibility to find out. And not at a superficial level. Go deep, ‘cause there’s always more to it than appears on the surface. Oh, and you have taken responsibility to get on the mailing list and database of all your competitors haven’t you – and you do go buy and from them regularly? Responsibility.
All this responsibility is liberating because it brings with it the most powerful thing – control. When you’re genuinely feeling in control, you can make amazing things happen and, one step at a time really change your world.
However, when your thinking is that certain elements of your life are outside of your control because of either a real or perceived constraint or obligation or subservience to something or someone else, then you lose control and the blame game begins.
Responsibility is avoided and your life is diminished as a result.
This is deep, deep stuff but it matters.
You don’t have to be doing what you do now.
It might be necessary for you to do something else in order to achieve the lifestyle or the fulfilment that you want. Either something different to make your existing business more successful, or a different business altogether, but you have that choice. We are not in 11th century China where roles were handed out by the State. You really can choose.
You can choose what, where, how, how much and when. The trick, however is not to make those decisions lightly. The trick is to think deeply and carefully about all aspects of business and life. The trick is to remember that the questions you ask ultimately do define your lifestyle.
Only when you get into the habit of thinking about your business in this way will you start to have confidence in your ability to take full responsibility and exercise control.
Ultimately, no one else is to blame for the state of your business or your life. It really is all down to you. I’ve no doubt that will offend some people and others will think I’m being overly harsh and
it may even cost me a few members who will resign in outrage at my lack of sympathy for the poor situation in which they find themselves. So be it. I’ll accept responsibility for that. You see, everything I do is my fault. I’m in control and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Neither should you.
